I understand that not all of you have the means to purchase my novel. Normally I would scold you for your inability to generate money; your laziness physically disgusts me. But I have come to realize that the filthy, penniless masses are the very people who can most benefit from my wisdom, and so for a short time I am offering my novel, Magician's First Maxim, for free on Amazon.com. I am setting aside my strongly held capitalist beliefs so that you may gain the knowledge of how to rise up and live your lives. Take this opportunity that I am so graciously providing you to better yourselves. Your poverty is the product of your own weakness, of your inability to live selfishly. Allow my novel to impart upon you the strength and ruthlessness you will need if you are ever to break free from your parasitic lifestyle, and become a real person.
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